Tuesday, 07 April 2009

• Losing Our Language - L.O.L.

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  I expanded this in order to use it for an assignment in my humor writing class. I know some of you have already read the original but there's some extra stuff you might enjoy.
  

  
  

  I have noticed that this acronym has started to move into actual speech. I have two reactions to it. First, I flashback to 7th grade, and then I begin to wonder what happened to vocabulary. And, what's next? Sometimes I want to look at people and say "You make me colon, dash, opening parenthesis ." Yes, it would sound quite silly, but if you think about it, there is not much difference.

  Also, just taking it in its designated context, it still bothers me. How many times, when you type that, are you actually laughing out loud? Sometimes when I am talking with someone on instant messenger, I think about how bizarre they would look if they were actually laughing out loud while staring at their computer each time they type that. Some of them would come scarily close to resembling a hyena. Is it too hard to type some actual words out? "You crack me up." "That was hilarious."

  However, my problems with internet lingo go past LOL. There is also ROFL – rolling on the floor laughing. I do not think I have ever laughed so hard that I have decided to get on the floor and roll around. I have laughed until I cried before, but I have never had the urge to stop, drop, and roll. I leave that for times when I am on fire.

  Then there is LMAO – laughing my a- you know what- off. I would like to see that actually happen. Although, I'm pretty sure no one's butt has ever dislocated from their body by laughter. I could be wrong, I can't claim to be an expert on people's behinds falling off due to hilarity. If you know more than I on the subject, please educate me.

  I cannot leave out those common messages we send to each other when we have to leave our computer briefly, BRB– be right back- and BBL.- be back later. So maybe you have been holding it in for a while, but are you really going to pee your pants if you take the time to type out be right back? In addition, are you really going to be in there long enough that the other person will even realize you are gone? Maybe I don’t want to know the answer to that.

  Now your conversation is ending. It is three in the morning and it is time to go to sleep. What do you say? TTYL. This one really baffles me because if you are trying to save time, you failed. Let me introduce you to b-y-e. Depending on whom you are instant messaging with, this can also create confusion. TTYL stands for talk to you later. After some people have typed this to me, I have to pause. You mean all of those random characters you sent to me actually count as talking. I thought you were just making sure that I knew that you had some grasp of the alphabet. Also, does later mean we really have to do this again? JK, jk, of course I want to talk to you again. It takes me back to the good old days. Kindergarten was awesome.

  Now the above have all come from conversations with people you know. When you are talking to people you do not there is entirely different acronyms that pop up.  Somehow when you are getting to know someone over the internet, the three most important characteristics about them become their gender, their date of birth, and where they are from. This is where a.s.l., or age-sex-location, comes into play. OMG I can’t keep up.

  I’m a forgiving person, really I am. I can accept the acronyms. But, what I can’t accept is the transformation of letters to words.  I know you might want to meet up with some romantic and mysterious stranger in a hurry, but asking him when the two of you are “going 2 get 2gether” is not going to speed up the process. He may be the 1. Still, u should put more thought in2 this. All of that over two and three letter words, really? People, please.

  There is one last thing that has been bothering me. No one ever says what three is greater than. What is less than three? Tell me, I need to know. <3

  
  
  

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